The 'Lost' Chapter - Losing Count Ch 9 point 5
by Balexi
Summary: Sometimes I write things which, for one reason or another, do not get included in stories or chapters. I am a hoarder. I keep all of those. Sometimes I write something and manage to forget where I wrote it, remembering the whereabouts of it months later. Sometimes people prompt/challenge me to write stuff. I'll let you work out which category this one falls into. Quinntana.


**Well, gosh, would you look at that :) This 'chapter' takes place between chapter 9 and 10 (seems wrong to suggest 9 ¾ as a title) on one of Quinn's visits to New York.  
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**While Losing Count was Santana's POV, this one-shot is Quinn's POV.**

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><p><strong>LOSING COUNT Part 9.5<strong>

Quinn knew Santana wasn't used to waiting for her. Usually it was she who was ready first, everything organised, and watching the clock as Santana took her time. She didn't think it would hurt to make Santana wait this once. Pausing to look at herself in the mirror, she felt her smile forming a fraction of a second before she saw it reflected before her. On the bus to New York, she had allowed her mind to wander as it would normally only do at night. She thought about her girlfriend's body, what it felt like to run her fingers over skin which was somehow even smoother than her own, and touch someone else in the same way she liked to be touched. Those were not thoughts appropriate to public transport or daylight hours, and Quinn found herself feeling restless in her seat, impatient for another chance to let her hands find the places her mind wouldn't let her forget.

She leaned closer to the mirror to apply her lipstick; lips parted, eyes wide with concentration. In contrast, she applied her mascara with her mouth open wide, in an effort not to blink. Replacing the cap, she dropped the tube back into the makeup bag on the edge of the sink and stood back to view as much of her outfit as possible. The black and grey dress she wore was somewhat tighter than her usual attire, and she knew Santana would appreciate the slit which went a little higher than mid-thigh up the back.

She had been self-conscious about her body since Beth was born, her shape changing as much as her life did over the course of her pregnancy. Stephen had commented on it, when he wasn't too drunk to notice which student she was, comparing her to girls she only hoped had come before her. Softer than Annabelle, apparently, rounder than Kate, and wider than Julianne. The only time he had complimented her was with red wine stained lips, the smell of the alcohol seeping from his pores.

Being with Santana had made her feel beautiful. She felt more comfortable in her skin than she had for the longest time, and having someone adore her had given her permission to like herself again. She knew that wasn't what the magazines recommended, the words beneath their glossy covers stating she would need to love herself, first, before expecting another person to do so. Those same covers, however, were adorned with women who were sizes she would never be if she wished to remain healthy. She took their advice with a grain of salt. You have to be taught to love yourself, she thought. She waited years for those lessons.

Santana was teaching her. She had done so for the longest time, with harshly spoken hard truths and gentle honesty. Santana had always been Quinn's anchor, and now she was also the biggest reason for Quinn to hold herself above the surface. Looking at the clock, Quinn smiled as the minute hand rested on the 5. It was still her favorite number.

Standing on the tips of her toes, Quinn turned one way and then the other, looking herself over in the mirror before finally putting Santana out of her misery. Santana had been pacing back and forth, sighing occasionally, and Quinn had purposely taken her time, wanting to savor the look on Santana's face when she made her entrance.

She wasn't disappointed. Opening the bathroom door, Quinn walked out with her shoulders squared, heels clicking against the floorboards. Santana's head was bowed, scanning her phone and her gaze faltered only briefly, the first time.

"You ready?" Santana's eyes flickered back to her phone for a fleeting second before she turned her head, a slow motion gesture, taking in each of Quinn's efforts individually. Quinn grinned as Santana placed her phone on the table and shook her head as she licked her lips.

"You know how to make every minute I waited totally worth it." Three steps saw Santana's hands caressing her sides, feeling the fabric of her dress and every curve beneath it. Quinn loved the way Santana's touches lingered at the parts of her body she had always worried about most.

"Jesus." Santana's hands roamed over her hips, arms wrapping around her waist. One hand traveled up to press between her shoulder blades, bringing their bodies closer, as the other found its way to the curve of her ass. "You're amazing." Santana's lips found Quinn's neck, words mumbling against skin between kisses. "Maybe we should just stay in tonight."

Quinn threw her head back and laughed, picking up Santana's phone and keys as she reminded her of whose idea it had been to go out. Dropping the items in Santana's hands, she used her own to cup her girlfriend's cheeks and allowed her teeth to sink into Santana's lower lip as she parted them, expecting a kiss.

"Not yet, you don't get to ruin my lipstick until later."

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><p>Rachel and Kurt had been very accommodating during Quinn's visits, both coordinating their plans to give her and Santana at least one night in the loft alone. This weekend was no exception, and it was convenient that Rachel was in Lima to pay a visit to her grandmother and Shelby. Kurt had made plans to stay at Adam's and, in the cab from dinner to the club, Quinn sent him a message to thank him and ask if he could take his time returning in the morning.<p>

Santana paid the cab driver as they pulled up outside the venue, a line of people waiting outside its entrance. Joining the line, Quinn's hands found their way around Santana's body, her fingers dancing in small circles over stripes which hugged her girlfriend's body in the best ways. Santana gasped as Quinn's fingers traced shapes higher and Quinn pressed herself more firmly against Santana's back.

Quinn wanted to take Santana home then and there, Santana's hand under the table at dinner having left her in need of much more, and suggested they hop into the cab which had just come to a stop, letting three other girls out to stand behind them.

"Come on, you promised you'd dance with me tonight." Santana turned to face Quinn and was clearly torn, looking over her girlfriend's body yet again before counting the people still ahead of them waiting to get it. "We don't have to stay long."

"One dance. Maybe we make it a two time thing, but all I want to do is get you home." Quinn was aware her voice grew husky when she was turned on, and she also knew the effect it had on Santana. Despite her need to be well away from prying eyes, she also enjoyed prolonging her teasing and watching as Santana struggled to resist her.

"My place or yours?" Santana spoke through a smirk and Quinn laughed, wishing the option existed for them to return to either. She wanted to be able to be with Santana on a more relaxed schedule than their fortnightly turn around. Already it was beginning to do her head in. As people ahead of them were allowed past the blue rope, the two moved up and Quinn whispered against the shell of Santana's ear.

"Yours, or any place we don't need to be quiet. I want to hear you tonight."

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><p>The music inside the club did nothing to distract Quinn from the thoughts she had been rolling over in her head for days. Reverberating through the floor, and along the bar where they stood, Quinn enjoyed the sensation of the music's vibrations as they coursed upward, beginning at her feet and filling her body. She allowed her eyes to trail over every inch of Santana's body as they waited to order drinks, toying with the idea of telling Santana, then and there, what had been on her mind for the past week. Santana rolled her eyes as she was passed over, yet again, and the girl next to her was asked for her order.<p>

Quinn leaned in and kissed Santana's cheek, her hand travelling down her girlfriend's back and stopping at the curve of her ass. Half expecting to be chastised as her hand continued slowly, Quinn was surprised when Santana turned into her, mirroring her moves and, one hand on her ass, pulled their bodies together.

"You want to stay here?" Quinn raised her eyebrows, and was aware the tone of her voice made her question sound like a challenge. The look she received in response, went through her like a changed beat, Santana only nodding in response, having managed to get the ball back in her own court yet again. Quinn was impressed by how quickly her girlfriend had switched the play this time. They would both end up winning at this game.

"Then stop reminding me how fucking desperate I am to get your clothes off." Quinn punctuated her sentence with a kiss which made her own knees weak. Santana dropped her purse on the bar and her hand went straight to Quinn's chest, travelling over the curve of her breast, and passing over an erect nipple.

"Fuck." Quinn's curse exploded against Santana's mouth and she felt a rush of heat between her legs as Santana's teeth scraped against her lower lip. Dragging her thumb over the spot her teeth had grazed, Santana smiled, perfectly aware she was back in control.

"You might need to redo your lipstick again."

Their drinks disappeared quickly and Santana guided Quinn towards the raised dance floor, squeezing between sweaty bodies and other couples who looked as entranced by each other as the two of them were.

Any reluctance Quinn had about staying out, had nothing to do with a lack of desire to dance. Turning into Santana, she pressed herself against her and ran her hand over Santana's as it rested against her hip, their positions from outside the club now reversed. Santana's other hand was pressed against Quinn's ribs, their bodies moving together effortlessly, and Quinn reached back to toy with the fabric of Santana's dress. Her nails brushed against the bare skin of Santana's thigh and Quinn felt Santana sigh against her neck before kissing the skin there.

When the beat changed, slowing significantly, Quinn was grateful they were in a somewhat secluded corner of the dance floor. Santana's body rolled against hers and each new touch against her body created a ripple inside her, pulling her like a magnet against her girlfriend.

Turning, Quinn pushed Santana against the mirrored wall. Pressing herself into Santana, Quinn kissed her and allowed her hands to wander, mimicking Santana's movements at the bar. Quinn allowed her fingers to tangle in Santana's hair, well aware of how her girlfriend reacted to the pressure. Santana's back arched off the wall and Quinn's other hand coasted over Santana's breast. Her fingers traced along Santana's collarbone as they kissed and she wrapped her lips around her girlfriend's tongue, sucking hard.

"Fuck, Fabray-" Santana pulled back, her head hitting the mirror, "-take me home."

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><p>Santana fumbled with her keys in the lock as she hurried to open the loft door. Quinn knew her hands were distracting, already lifting Santana's dress, her fingertips making Santana's knees give out more than once as they stood outside the door.<p>

Once inside, Santana dragged the door shut and pressed Quinn against it. Quinn felt herself growing wetter remembering the first night they spent together, her back against a different door and Santana's fingers less aware of their intentions.

Quinn arched against Santana, hips pinning her lower body to the door as Santana undid the zipper on the back of Quinn's dress. Pulling the fabric down her arms, Quinn moved her hips from side to side, helping Santana drag the dress down the rest of her body. Stepping out of it, Quinn kicked off her shoes and placed a hand against Santana's chest.

"Bed."

Santana turned without hesitating and walked towards her bed, dragging her own dress up over her hips as she walked. She was giving Quinn a show as she pulled it over her head, slowing deliberately, and reaching the bed wearing only her underwear. Half a step behind, Quinn paused, hands grabbing for Santana's waist as she turned to face her. Santana removed her own bra, a smirk playing on her lips, and she sat down on her mattress, pulling Quinn down to straddle her. Quinn was almost embarrassed by how wet she was when she came into contact with Santana's lap and she felt heat spread across her cheeks as Santana unfastened her bra, immediately attaching her lips to Quinn's nipple as she let the bra fall to the floor.

Quinn threw her head back as Santana's hands splayed against her back, pulling their bodies together. Santana's tongue flattened, dragging up over the curve of Quinn's breast and she was unable to stop the way she was grinding against Santana, her need to be closer was almost maddening. With one hand behind Santana's back, she guided her down onto the bed.

"These need to come off." Quinn's fingers pulled at the elastic of Santana's panties as she lifted her body up just enough to be able to pull them down, Santana cursing in her ear, her fingers wandering as she did so.

Shifting both her legs between Santana's, Quinn licked her lips, dipping her head to place kisses against flesh, which was hotter than her own, and lowering herself back down against Santana's body. Quinn smiled hearing Santana moan against her ear as she kissed a path from Santana's collarbone to her lips. With each sound, Quinn rocked her hips up against Santana, their kisses becoming deeper as their rocking increased.

Quinn's mind replayed her most recent fantasies, and she separated herself from Santana's lips unsure of how to phrase what she wanted to ask. Quinn felt Santana's hands move downward, pressing themselves against her ass as Santana reciprocated each thrust of her hips by rocking her own hard against Quinn's.

"Have you ever…used...anything before?" Quinn's face burned with her question and she hoped Santana understood her words.

"You mean, besides my hands and my tongue?" Santana quirked an eyebrow, her eyes darkening, making it clear she knew exactly what Quinn meant. Quinn nodded, her eyebrows knitting together as Santana's hands slipped inside her panties forcing her closer while her girlfriend grinded against her.

"You want to try something?" Quinn's pulse raced as Santana breathed the question against her lips. She hadn't realized how shallow her own breathing had become, the word '_yes'_ little more than a whimper in response to the question, and the look in Santana's eyes.

Moving back up the bed, Quinn watched as Santana opened the drawer of her nightstand and produced a cloth bag. Handing it to Quinn, she shuffled back downward, and Quinn blushed again, reaching inside the bag to remove its contents. The object felt cool against her hand, a stark contrast to the heat of her skin and the space around them. A laugh escaped her and she was almost as embarrassed by the sound, out of place among heavy breaths, as she was by her own desire.

"Do you want to try it?" Quinn looked at Santana beneath her and nodded. She wondered if she were supposed to wear a harness, but assumed Santana would produce one if that were the case. Moving her legs, she knelt between Santana's again and made to remove her own panties before Santana stilled her hand.

"Leave these on." Quinn watched as Santana licked her lips without shifting her gaze, their eyes locked as she slipped the base of the dildo into Quinn's panties. "This way you don't have to worry about it moving."

Quinn laughed again.

"Moving is the point, though, isn't it." Her nervous began to dissipate as she pressed her body against Santana's, the heat between them relaxing her and reminding her of nights spent imagining this experience.

"I've thought about this a lot."

"Really?" Santana urged Quinn's body closer and reached down between her legs. "What do you think when you think about this?" Quinn moaned as she felt Santana's lips attach to her neck. Teeth and tongue and lips creating one thousand sensations against her skin.

"I've think about fucking you and being able to touch you at the same time, with both of my hands." Quinn could now feel the dildo touching Santana as she continued to move against her girlfriend, unable to still the momentum of her hips. Feeling Santana grip it, pressing it against her, Quinn felt a rush of heat overtake her body.

"Fuck." They both cursed simultaneously as Santana pushed the tip of the dildo inside her with one hand and pressed Quinn hard against her with the other.

Quinn paused looking at her girlfriend, head thrown back against the pillow, teeth sinking into her lower lip after her tongue darted out to moisten them. Quinn rocked her hips in slow, shallow movements, unsure of how far she should go to begin with. She wanted Santana to guide her, showing her how she liked to be fucked. She wanted Santana to set their pace. When Santana opened her eyes, Quinn allowed her hips to move forward again, pushing the dildo deeper inside of Santana before bringing it back.

Placing her hands either side of Santana's head, Quinn held her gaze. She increased her movements, thrusting deeper, but still maintaining a slow, rhythmic pattern as Santana's hands slipped inside her panties again. Santana used her own hands to determine Quinn's rhythm, and Quinn was surprised by how turned on she was, Santana controlling her from underneath.

Quinn kissed Santana, her tongue teasing against her girlfriend's upper lip. She was encouraged by Santana's cursing, each word swallowed by her own lips as they melted into each other. She wasn't sure if it was the momentum of her hips or the feeling of being inside Santana in this way, but Quinn could feel her own orgasm building as Santana's moans became louder.

"Jesus, Quinn, fuck-" Santana wrapped her legs around Quinn's back, locking her ankles, and thrusting her own hips faster against Quinn. "-don't stop."

Quinn almost laughed, there was no way she was going to stop, and she tried desperately to focus on her movements instead of the pulsating between her own legs which threatened to overtake her. She felt Santana arch against the bed before wrapping both arms around her neck and holding her closer. As she came, her body rocked against Quinn, curling into her, her curses timed with each jolt Quinn felt beneath her. Pulling Quinn to her, Santana kissed Quinn, capturing her tongue and sucking on it causing Quinn's hips moving of their own volition, her body now shuddering in time with Santana's.

"Is that something like what you imagined?" Santana's words were languid as small aftershocks continued to surprise them, their movements slowing as they remained pressed together.

Quinn felt herself blush again She was still not used to being looked at with such adulation, and found herself amazed by Santana's confidence, always appearing sure of herself when most people would be at their most vulnerable.

"All I wanted was to make you feel good, I had no idea how being with you like that could feel for me."

As Santana released her grip on Quinn, she felt legs slip from behind her. Santana reached down and removed the dildo, urging Quinn onto her side. As they lay face to face on the pillow, Quinn leaned in to kiss the smirk which played on Santana's lips, just as it had at the mentioning of her question earlier.

"What?"

Santana shrugged. "Sometimes, when I'm thinking about you and these guys aren't home, I have a little-" she paused, smiling as she appeared to be searching for the right word, "-personal time. I've imagined you fucking me just like that, but it's never felt anything like did then."

"Jesus-" Quinn gasped at the way she felt Santana's words inside her, "-what are you doing to me?"

Santana smiled. "Tell me about your personal time." Her fingers trekked over Quinn's side, a buzzing beneath Quinn's skin seemingly moving in time with them.

Quinn thought for a moment about how she had spent the past week calculating the minutes until she could crawl into bed, laying on her stomach and imagining Santana beneath her. In the dark of her room she had rocked her hips against the mattress, head pressed into the pillow to muffle any sound which escaped her as she came.

"The only real alone time I get is in the shower, if I time it right I'm the only one in there and I usually end up thinking about you." Quinn felt Santana shift away from her on the bed and for a second she wondered if she'd said the wrong thing. Rolling over, Santana offered Quinn her hand.

"Show me." At first Quinn thought Santana was going to take her to shower, but she stopped in front of the mirror which stood next to the window. Santana motioned for Quinn to stand in front of her and, at first, Quinn didn't want to look at herself in the mirror, her hair was a mess and she was embarrassed by the dark patches on her panties which made it clear just how turned on she was.

"Do you shower with these on?" Santana smiled at their reflection, the light from the lamp in the corner casting shadows across their bodies. Quinn breathed through a nervous laugh, shaking her head as Santana lopped her fingers into the tops of them and dragged them down her legs.

"Show me." Santana repeated her request as Quinn stepped out of her panties, kicking them aside. Santana's hands were exploring the sides of her body, reacquainting themselves with every curve and ridge.

Placing her left hand over Santana's, she lifted it to her mouth and wrapped her lips around Santana's two middle fingers, caressing them with her tongue before pulling them out and repeating the gesture two more times.

"Jesus."

Quinn was encouraged by Santana's sigh and lowered her hand as she stepped to the side to give herself the space she needed. She used her hand to guide Santana's fingers through her wetness a few times before pushing them inside her. She felt Santana's other hand travel up the front of her body to cup her breast and against her better judgement she allowed her eyes to flicker towards the image of the two of them in the mirror.

Her eyes met Santana's and she felt that look throughout her body as Santana's fingers moved on their own now, fucking her slowly the way she often fucked herself. Reaching for Santana's other hand, she pressed it to her body as she moved it downward. She struggled to remain standing as she pressed Santana's fingers to her clit. Watching their reflection, Quinn licked her lips, her panting breaths drying them almost the instant they were moistened. She struggled to remain standing as she came, and staring ahead of her she avoided watching herself and locked eyes with Santana instead. Reaching down, she removed Santana's fingers slowly and guided them back up towards her mouth, licking herself from them and feeling Santana pull their bodies close with her other hand.

"Fuck, Fabray, are you kidding me."

Turning, Quinn crashed her lips against Santana's, their tongues mingling and she almost came again knowing Santana could taste her as they kissed.

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><p>As they lay in bed later, Quinn musing over tension in muscles which had now been utilized in many different ways, she felt the pounding of her heart increase the longer she held Santana's gaze. She couldn't remember silences being comfortable with anyone else, and she wondered if Santana was reading her mind as she played with words she felt were too huge to share so soon. The look in Santana's eyes was one she knew was for her and her only. Reaching out her hand, she traced her fingers across Santana's chest, pausing to feel Santana's pulse racing similarly to her own.<p>

Quinn felt her eye lids growing heavy, using every effort to keep them open to allow her to maintain her gaze. She always fell asleep before Santana and didn't want to do so this time. She thought about the relationships she'd had and how well she knew each of the people she had shared any part of herself with. Her knowledge of them paled in comparison to her understanding of who Santana was and, until now, she had been afraid to share herself completely with another person. She was learning to love herself as Santana stood by and let her. For the first time she realized she wasn't jealous of Kate or Julianne, or Annabelle, and as Santana's hand caressed her skin, playing her curves like the songs Santana rehearsed and knew by heart, she leaned in and kissed the girl who was changing her life, one moment at a time.

She had loved Santana for years but, as Santana rolled on to her back, stretching out an arm and inviting Quinn to press against her side, she wondered, at which point in time, she'd begun to fall in love with her.


End file.
